Recover from homesick

I wrote the dairy last week, but saved as draft, and didn't publish. Because of my mental weakness, I get easily emotionally unstable. Once I start worrying something, there is no end to it. This time, I was anxious about not only one worry, but also multiple worries. Following is the sentences that I wrote last week. you can tell that I am a natural worrier, and how my mental condition was disturbed...

"I have been homesick for three days. This is the longest and toughest homesick I have ever had. Why?? I don't know...stressed, lonely, and ....?

Recently, I have lost passion for living in the U.S. little bit. Why have I been here? It must be much easier for me to live in Japan. Why have I been lonely sitting here in my small room in sharing house? I am already 31 years old and still sharing house?? Am I loser of life?

Too negative thinking...humm not good.....

I am feeling difficulty living in the U.S. sometimes. visa, language, friends.... I don't know what I feel five years later from now, but I hope it will be less difficult to live."


It is difficult for me to live in the U.S. That is definitely true, but so what? Do I leave this country as a loser? NO!!!! I am not a dog that gets the worst of it in a dog fight. My life is in here. My future will also be in here. I stand face to face with the problems, and slowly solve them one by one, just one by one...